A lot of people ask me for tips on how to feel more confident, and in this post I’m delivering!
In March of 2019, the monthly mantra in my Miracle Membership was “I step into my confidence.” All the content for that month aligned with that mantra, including my podcast lesson.
For this post I decided to adapt some of the lessons I shared in that Miracle Membership podcast episode. These tools will help you speak up and share your light with the world.
Do you stifle your own confidence?
You probably don’t really talk about your own awesomeness on a regular basis (or at all). Many of us have learned to stifle our confidence, to make ourselves smaller and quieter.
As a result, even when we do want to shine bright, we feel uncomfortable. We feel uncomfortable receiving and putting ourselves out in the world. For example, maybe you landed a big promotion and became the target of gossip, so your story became, “I can’t talk about my promotion. It’s best to play it down and really prove myself.”
These kinds of experiences lead us to lose sight of our talents and dim that inner spark. We stop shining bright out of fear of what others might think. And as a result, we deprive the world of our greatness.
How to be more confident
Even if you’ve dimmed your spark, the truth is that your light wants to shine! Follow these 3 steps to be more confident.
Step 1: Turn inward
In order to be more confident, the first thing you must do is look inward. In our culture we often prize external markers of success: the job title, the designer wardrobe, the fairy-tale wedding, whatever it may be.
But focusing on what’s outside of yourself only blocks your inner light from shining. I want to remind you that what’s beautiful about you has nothing to do with anything external.
When you get caught up in that outside stuff, remember to turn inward, meditate, pray and sit in stillness. Even a few minutes of stillness, simply focusing on your breath, will help you feel grounded and reconnect you to your spirit. When you feel more connected to yourself, you’ll feel ready to shine.
This sounds simple, but I’m sure you can relate when I say that this is something we have to remind ourselves of all the time. (If you want a simple way to stay spiritually connected, check out my Miracle Membership.) But if you commit to making it a habit to turn inward, then I promise you it will become easier and easier.
Step 2: Get real and own your quirks!
I always like to tell people: Own your quirks and your passions! Really like the fact that you can recite every episode of Friends or whatever it is that you can do. (I know every single word to Sixteen Candles. Proud of that!)
Choose to take pride in your offbeat sense of humor or that topic you really nerd out about. Let’s face it: not conforming to the world’s expectations of you takes guts. There’s nothing cooler or greater than your authentic truth. I really want to emphasize that over and over again.
When you get real, you give others permission to be themselves
The next time you have an opportunity to do so, I encourage you to say what’s on your mind, show your vulnerable side or just get specific about what you want. Let people see the truth of who you are. Let people feel that connection to you.
The more you embrace your real personality, including the quirks and silliness and all the elements of who you are, the more confident you become. And as you let your truth shine, you’ll feel more connected to others. They’ll drop their pretenses and get real with you.
So the more you stand in your truth and give yourself permission to be more confident, the more you give others permission to do the same. It feels good to be around people who are unapologetically themselves and who allow others to be themselves, too. Confidence is contagious.
Make time for what you love
One simple way to be more confident is to just focus on what inspires you. It doesn’t matter what it is. Maybe you love to take photographs, dance in your living room, write stories, volunteer with animals or garden. Consciously set aside some time each week to get into whatever it is that you love.
I’ve found that if I’m feeling disconnected or having a bad day, I can recalibrate and feel more confident just by cooking — because cooking brings me joy. My “Gabby Cooking Show” on Instagram took off over the last two years because I’m just having fun with it. Your confidence shines through when you’re having a good time.
If you’re not really sure what inspires you, just pay attention to the things that you do by choice. I call these our effortless actions. When you have free time, or you want to feel good, what do you do? Do more of that! Whatever it is, it reconnects you to your true nature and helps you to be more confident.
Get more tips on how to be more confident
As I said at the beginning of this post, I adapted these tips from my March 2019 podcast episode for my Miracle Membership. I give even more tips about how to be more confident in that podcast episode, including some EFT techniques to use when you feel really unconfident.
If you’re a Miracle Member, go to your portal to listen to the podcast.
If you’re not a Miracle Member yet, good news: The moment you join the Miracle Membership, you get access to all past content, going back to 2015. In addition to this podcast lesson from March 2019, you’ll get:
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- My guided Kundalini meditation for confidence.
- The video from a panel discussion I did with Latham Thomas, Lila Darville and Claire Wasserman on relationship and career empowerment.
- More past content on confidence — check out October 2016 (I am limitless), December 2017 (I am committed to greatness), and many empowering meditations, Gabby’s Greatest Hits video lectures and more.
The world wants you to shine
Remember that whenever you’re doing what inspires you, you’re inspiring others.
So don’t be afraid to shine bright, do the work that you’re here to do, be joyful and honor the whole truth of who you are.
Celebrate your small successes
One last tip: Celebrate every success! The moment we begin to celebrate ourselves and focus on our successes is the moment we begin living.
Open your journal and make a list of all the ways you rock. Don’t be shy. Don’t even be humble. Brag!
Then take this list with you throughout the day and reference it whenever you’re in doubt.
As you notice great things about yourself throughout the day, add them the list. Continue to expand upon the list and enjoy the process.
Finally, always remember that the world just wants to your authentic self. It’s the best thing about you. So step into your confidence and have some fun!
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