How to Be More Confident

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Miracle Membership by Gabby Bernstein | March 2019 mantra | I step into my confidenceA lot of people ask me for tips on how to feel more confident, and in this post I’m delivering!

In March of 2019, the monthly mantra in my Miracle Membership was “I step into my confidence.” All the content for that month aligned with that mantra, including my podcast lesson.

For this post I decided to adapt some of the lessons I shared in that Miracle Membership podcast episode. These tools will help you speak up and share your light with the world.

Do you stifle your own confidence?

You probably don’t really talk about your own awesomeness on a regular basis (or at all). Many of us have learned to stifle our confidence, to make ourselves smaller and quieter.

As a result, even when we do want to shine bright, we feel uncomfortable. We feel uncomfortable receiving and putting ourselves out in the world. For example, maybe you landed a big promotion and became the target of gossip, so your story became, “I can’t talk about my promotion. It’s best to play it down and really prove myself.”

These kinds of experiences lead us to lose sight of our talents and dim that inner spark. We stop shining bright out of fear of what others might think. And as a result, we deprive the world of our greatness.

How to be more confident

Even if you’ve dimmed your spark, the truth is that your light wants to shine! Follow these 3 steps to be more confident.

Step 1: Turn inward

In order to be more confident, the first thing you must do is look inward. In our culture we often prize external markers of success: the job title, the designer wardrobe, the fairy-tale wedding, whatever it may be.

Tweet: Don’t be afraid to shine bright, be joyful and honor the whole truth of who you are. @gabbybernstein

But focusing on what’s outside of yourself only blocks your inner light from shining. I want to remind you that what’s beautiful about you has nothing to do with anything external.

When you get caught up in that outside stuff, remember to turn inward, meditate, pray and sit in stillness. Even a few minutes of stillness, simply focusing on your breath, will help you feel grounded and reconnect you to your spirit. When you feel more connected to yourself, you’ll feel ready to shine.

This sounds simple, but I’m sure you can relate when I say that this is something we have to remind ourselves of all the time. (If you want a simple way to stay spiritually connected, check out my Miracle Membership.) But if you commit to making it a habit to turn inward, then I promise you it will become easier and easier.

Step 2: Get real and own your quirks!

There is nothing sexier than my authentic truth | The Universe Has Your Back card deck by Gabby Bernstein | How to be more confidentI always like to tell people: Own your quirks and your passions! Really like the fact that you can recite every episode of Friends or whatever it is that you can do. (I know every single word to Sixteen Candles. Proud of that!)

Choose to take pride in your offbeat sense of humor or that topic you really nerd out about. Let’s face it: not conforming to the world’s expectations of you takes guts. There’s nothing cooler or greater than your authentic truth. I really want to emphasize that over and over again.

When you get real, you give others permission to be themselves

The next time you have an opportunity to do so, I encourage you to say what’s on your mind, show your vulnerable side or just get specific about what you want. Let people see the truth of who you are. Let people feel that connection to you.

The more you embrace your real personality, including the quirks and silliness and all the elements of who you are, the more confident you become. And as you let your truth shine, you’ll feel more connected to others. They’ll drop their pretenses and get real with you.

So the more you stand in your truth and give yourself permission to be more confident, the more you give others permission to do the same. It feels good to be around people who are unapologetically themselves and who allow others to be themselves, too. Confidence is contagious.

Make time for what you love

Shakshuka | Gabby Bernstein on Instagram | How to be more confident
Shakshuka! Or as we call it in my house, Chuck Schumer.

One simple way to be more confident is to just focus on what inspires you. It doesn’t matter what it is. Maybe you love to take photographs, dance in your living room, write stories, volunteer with animals or garden. Consciously set aside some time each week to get into whatever it is that you love.

I’ve found that if I’m feeling disconnected or having a bad day, I can recalibrate and feel more confident just by cooking — because cooking brings me joy. My “Gabby Cooking Show” on Instagram took off over the last two years because I’m just having fun with it. Your confidence shines through when you’re having a good time.

If you’re not really sure what inspires you, just pay attention to the things that you do by choice. I call these our effortless actions. When you have free time, or you want to feel good, what do you do? Do more of that! Whatever it is, it reconnects you to your true nature and helps you to be more confident.

Get more tips on how to be more confident

As I said at the beginning of this post, I adapted these tips from my March 2019 podcast episode for my Miracle Membership. I give even more tips about how to be more confident in that podcast episode, including some EFT techniques to use when you feel really unconfident.

If you’re a Miracle Member, go to your portal to listen to the podcast.

If you’re not a Miracle Member yet, good news: The moment you join the Miracle Membership, you get access to all past content, going back to 2015. In addition to this podcast lesson from March 2019, you’ll get:

    • My guided Kundalini meditation for confidence.
    • The video from a panel discussion I did with Latham Thomas, Lila Darville and Claire Wasserman on relationship and career empowerment.
    • More past content on confidence — check out October 2016 (I am limitless), December 2017 (I am committed to greatness), and many empowering meditations, Gabby’s Greatest Hits video lectures and more.

Miracle Membership by Gabby Bernstein | How to be more confident

The world wants you to shine

Remember that whenever you’re doing what inspires you, you’re inspiring others.

So don’t be afraid to shine bright, do the work that you’re here to do, be joyful and honor the whole truth of who you are.

Celebrate your small successes

I am unapologetic about my capacity to shine bright | Spirit Junkie App by Gabby Bernstein | How to be more confidentOne last tip: Celebrate every success! The moment we begin to celebrate ourselves and focus on our successes is the moment we begin living.

Open your journal and make a list of all the ways you rock. Don’t be shy. Don’t even be humble. Brag!

Then take this list with you throughout the day and reference it whenever you’re in doubt.

As you notice great things about yourself throughout the day, add them the list. Continue to expand upon the list and enjoy the process.

Finally, always remember that the world just wants to your authentic self. It’s the best thing about you. So step into your confidence and have some fun!

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  1. Wayne Dyer has been visiting me alot lately and he introduced me to your work. You will be seeing my comments probably fairly frequently among the hundred thousands you usually get.

    I cried when I watched your soul series live because you are as relatable as best friends are. I have a miracle baby story of my own.
    At 34 years of age (this goes back a ways) I really wanted a baby but my body was broken. I was sent to a specialist who did exploratory surgery and found a precancerous growth in my uterus. I was prescribed hormones which made me really sick and within a month I gained 30lbs. The drugs weren’t working. So I quit them.
    My guides told me to see an acupuncturist and within 3 weeks I had a massive cycle. The doctor was super mad when I went back and told him. He didn’t believe me and ordered another operation. It came back clear. This was a miracle in itself, except I still struggled with surrender. My specialist referred me to another specialist who thought my numbers (blood work) was really weird and he wasn’t sure what was wrong but thought I needed to go on fertility drugs. At this pointy hubby and I decided to let it go. No more drugs!

    I had done the abraham Hicks work, we changed the office into a nursery and I wrote baby room on a whiteboard on the door. Fast forward 4 years.

    We changed the baby room into an office. 1 month later in October my mom surprised me with tickets to the Dali Lama when he visited Vancouver. I was so excited and I slept through the whole thing.
    It turned out I was pregnant and not a little bit. When I went for an ultrasound to see, I was 19 weeks 5 days pregnant. I had missed the entire first trimester. My daughter was born in 2015 on May 4th. She just celebrated her 4th birthday.❤

    Wishing you a happy mothers day with love from one hopeful mother to another

  2. Very inspired by your book and gentle practice to feel spirit.
    Thank you so much!
    Love Bonnie

    1. Ciao, ti ho ‘conosciuto’ per la prima volta ieri.
      Mi è arrivata una mail da Mylife con uno splendido regalo per me , il tuo libro: trasforma la paura in potere.
      Mi hai conquistato da subito, mi sono sentita da subito meglio, in pace, mi sono ritrovata in molte storie da te raccontate e sono pronta ad imparare ad essere felice.
      Non è facile, mi trovo spesso a pensare in negativo, la paura mi è sempre stata compagna, ma questi tuoi consigli, esercizi, mi stanno aiutando, non mi crogiolo nel dolore nel pianto, ma preferisco la GIOIA.
      Un abbraccio Sabrina

  3. I fancied a Guinness. I’m on my own. And I did my yoga and yoga nidra this morning, attended a fabulous friends’ 60th Birthday Party with my Mummy. Drove everyone. And got in. It’s Saturday. I’m in a great neighbourhood. I’m feeling brave. I’m being my authentic self. I just wanted to share. You can do anything you want, if you want it enough. I can’t post the photo but I’m in my local pub. A pint of Guinness as my companion. An hour out of my evening. And I feel liberated, empowered and alive. I’m single, a parent of a daughter at university, and a daughter and friend. I’m a lucky girl x

  4. I am so grateful and on fire. As a HYL coach myself I attract loving phenomenal people in my life including Gabby. Just finished sharing a Fantastic Phenomenal Awesome Off the Chain visit from my friends from London. Omg. We played we laughed till several times potty called. We went to places only the courageous would go. We had a mini pj time danced and so on. Living and manifesting are my favorite pastimes and I am a Liver of Joy. I am so grateful for the spirit love coming from the spirit junkies and Miracle Membership Namaste

    1. You rock Vivian! I’m grateful that you’re part of this awesome Spirit Junkie community! <3

  5. Gabby, you are a real inspiration!!! I feel so much lighter these days after following your blog posts and reading your books!! I try to take something you have said with me each day and am hoping to join your Miracle Membership soon when I can afford it!!! You rock Gabby and from the bottom of my heart. Thank you xxxx

    1. This is awesome Felicity! Excited for you to join the Miracle Membership family. Sending big hugs your way. XOX

  6. Things are really unfolding in the most miraculous ways and it’s all due to my commitment to my practices and daily tuning in. Nothing is different, except, I’m different and it’s making all the difference.

    Deeply full of love, appreciation and for this gorgeous path I’m on.

    If you’re someone new to tuning in to yourself, I encourage you to stay committed, life gets really really sweet when you keep choosing to soften.

    I am in my power, my personal, confident power that is inclusive, supportive, and I claim one of my superpowers – that I am someone who others can be 100% themselves around.

    It’s a gift I’ve always had, but really claiming it these days. I desire all people to continue to grow in comfort in their skin and I too will walk along side you.

    I’ve always felt somewhat confident, certainly in many ares, but now it’s more of a deep ownership, that is both humbling, soft and really yummy.

    More people want to be around me, more clients want to work with me and I’m making the impact I’ve desired to make for a long time.

    I feel free in me and that gives others free to be too.

    Massive love to you Gabby. XO

  7. Hi Gabby! Thank you this comes at the perfect time for me 🙂

    Love that you mention kundalini, I signed up for class about a year ago and it has really helped. Especially the nostril breathing exercise that you also mentioned in a video ❤️

    Also I recently discovered there is scientific proof about how some of the poses help, Amy Cuddy has a cool Ted Talk on what she calls power poses and the effect they have on our brain chemistry. Some of them remind me of kundalini poses, especially the victory pose that she has in her video

    Thank you Gabby for this post.

    Reiki hugs,


  8. Gabby thank you. I love everything you just wrote in the blog. I like to rock in roll sing these tunes and dance the night away. I love listening to your meditations and complimenting people. You have a beautiful voice. I like being around like minded people and letting my voice to be heard around the world. I like that I am in touch with my feelings and getting to know the real Bern. I like gong to the beach and sharing intimate moments with friends and family. I am so so so grateful I am in touch with my intuition and can think on my feet. I like the idea that you and all of you work has encouraged me to be me I all that I do. Thank you Gabby. How can I ever repay you for all of the gorgeous love and support to spread throughout the world and in my life. Bernie

    1. You are a bright light Bernie! Grateful that you’re part of our awesome Miracle Membership community.

  9. Great post. Very insightful about the dangers of being externally referenced and the liberation being internally referenced can bring. A real treat, thanks. Mandy x

  10. Gabby these are great tips, but for me I’ve lost how to shine. I had to stop working after 20 years and my daughter is away at college. I try to find ways to shine. I write and meditate and see friends but I just can’t figure out where or how to shine again, which is sometimes depressing. Any wisdom for me? I love your books and have seen you doing a presentation. I just feel so lost and I keep thinking it will show up. I’ve given up trying to find it and decided to let it come to me, but nothing is coming. I’m thinking maybe just start doing things and going to new places, but behind that is me searching. It’s exhausting and frustrating. Appreciate your time and any words of wisdom. Thanks!

    1. Traci, showing up here is a beautiful sign that you are ready and open to some big shifts. Remember that small right actions make a big impact. If things feel overwhelming, go neutral, go simple. What is one small thing that you can do today that is FUN, something that will lift your spirits? Pick the very first thing that comes to mind and do that! Commit to doing one fun thing every day for one month and get ready to see how your energy changes. <3

      1. Thanks Gabby. I will try your suggestion. Baking comes to mind any time I think of doing something fun. But I sit on the couch instead. When you said do the first thing that comes to mind, baking came up. I baked all the time when I was a kid. So tomorrow I’m going to make some cookies! And each day I’ll think of something else fun. And I’ll go simple when I need to. That is very helpful to hear bc I can get too stimulated. Thanks for your time Gabby! I reached out to your website bc I knew I would find something helpful. Love and Peace.

      2. Thanks so much Gabby! Baking is what comes to mind. I baked all the time as a kid. I also like your advice about going simple and neutral when I feel overwhelmed. I woke up this morning and opened The Universe Has Your Back to a random page and it was the chapter about having fun! Specifically, welcome creative possibilities! I’m making cookies today! Thank you. Love and peace.

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