How to Break a Bad Habit

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I’ve never been shy about my experience with addiction and sobriety. In fact, a lot of my early career was based around that part of my journey.

On the outset, I realized I was addicted to substances. But I had other addictions, too, like love and food. Over the years, I’ve come to realize that most people have some sort of addiction, whether it’s to substances, love or food (like me), or to things like gossip, worry or fear.

Sometimes, these addictions have a big impact. The “rock bottom” addictionsthose that can cause us to lose everything, or at least everything that’s important, and often in a very public way—cause obvious destruction.

But addiction also has a more subtle manifestation. Some addictions never end up blowing up our life; instead, they just hold us back. Even after we realize these patterns aren’t serving us and are willing to change, we continue to repeat them. 

We often call these subtler addictions “bad habits.”

The term “bad habits” is useful to a point. It indicates that these particular addictions aren’t destroying someone’s life on a large scale. Yet it’s also useful to see these bad habits for what they are: Addictions. That’s because all forms of addiction, regardless of how they manifest, come from the same root cause.

In this episode of Dear Gabby, I’m going straight to that root. We’re going to talk about what your addictioneven if it’s just a “bad habit”is trying to protect. We’re going to look at it using a framework borrowed from Internal Family Systems (IFS). And then we’re going to create a molecule of space within the experience for something new.

Just for a moment, we’re going to feel.

The video below contains all that and more. I promise you that what’s happening here is nothing short of miraculous.




Once you’ve created that space, repeat the pattern. Create something new. Make it into a “good habit”one that causes you to connect with that inner child and whatever she needs, whenever she needs it.

This is the beginning. It’s the moment when everything starts to change. Because once you feel whatever is at the root of your addiction, you have nothing left to run from.

*If you’re struggling with addiction and want additional support, click here for more resources.

For more guidance on how to break a bad habit check out my Free 3-Part Mini Course on how to release judgment and clear blocks. Join for free here.

 

 

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  1. This was awesome, Gabby! You have a way of weaving spiritual wisdom w/practical tools and information. Super helpful. I love these videos.

    P.s. You look radiant.

  2. Thank you, Gabby. That was really helpful. A good reminder to make it a habit of checking in with my inner child and asking her, What do you need right now?

  3. Hi Gabby,

    I’ve been following your blogs for a year and I was wondering if you have ever done one on lost and grievance ? I’ve lost my mother very recently and I’m looking on guidance on how to get through it.

    Thank you.

    1. I’m deeply sorry for the loss of your mother, Marie. I want you to know that I’m holding you with a lot of love and compassion right now.

      At this time I do not have a blog about grief and loss. To help you process your feelings, I encourage you to reach out to a grief counselor or online support group.

      In the meantime, here are some other resources that you might find helpful:

      Books
      The Grief Club by Melody Beattie
      Tears to Triumph by Marianne Williamson

      Meditations
      Jack Kornfield guided meditation on grief:
      https://jackkornfield.com/meditation-grief/

      Chopra Center written guidance on meditating after loss:
      https://chopra.com/articles/healing-after-loss-meditation-for-grieving

      EFT tapping
      Important note: Unexpected emotions can arise when you practice EFT. If your loss is very recent, or if you feel overwhelmed by grief, tap with caution or wait until you have recovered more. Talk your therapist or doctor before tapping if you’re new to it or not sure how to handle strong feelings that may come up.

      Brad Yates video for tapping on loss & grief:
      https://youtu.be/kDyw3MLwzmo

      The Tapping Solution (Nick Ortner) 52-minute audio lesson and EFT guidance on processing grief:
      https://www.thetappingsolution.com/blog/grief-hurts/

      You’re in my thoughts. Sending you much love. xoxo

  4. Feelings are rough!!!! I am in recovery and these are the things that I have been running from since I was 11 yrs old. Im trying. I am but man when they come up and smack me upside the head-sometimes they are just to damn loud and hurt too much. I haven’t been able to get through this yet. I don’t physically relapse but I def hit those spiritual bottoms when this happens. I run. I run a lot! From everything!!!! I don’t want to but it is this thing inside that just goes off. Memory. Feeling. Pain. Take off. Emotion. Take off. Vulnerable. Take off. I want to stop this!!! I want to change the pattern. Its exhausting. Almost 9 yrs of trying.

  5. My bad habits are eating and alcohol. I haven’t been using them as much as I used to, but I definitely recognize I was using them to cover up feelings. I’m not exactly sure what I’m hiding from myself though. I know I do it to feel happy and comforted.

  6. Love you and your work Gabby!! Always inspiring:)). Is there a code to enter to your Judgement Detox course online when registering? Thanks!!

  7. This video was exactly what I needed to day. I’m giving thanks to the firefighter and making an even bigger space. Thank you, Gabby!

  8. “THANK YOU GABBY!” ♾️
    I’ve been struggling with addiction most my life and want to (tears are already coming down) be rid of the shame, guilt and fear that come along with it. Most importantly, I want and need to transform this part of myself. I’ve been receiving so many signs and can ‘feel” my guides insisting I address this.. I’m not even sure if I communicate with spirit or my guides, yet something is telling me deep within that I do and that “addiction” may have something to do with my life’s purpose? As you know, there are so many people suffering from this and too ashamed to admit it to themselves, let alone other people.. so we stay stuck in fear of judgement from ourself, family, friends, career, etc….
    It’s actually opened my eyes now that I’ve read your story and understand the importance of being open with our addictions to assist in helping others… I’m truly looking forward to finally taking a step in a healthier direction…
    So again, I sincerely appreciate you sharing your time and energy to help guide us on our paths..

  9. I’ve been in recovery for 16 years and you’re so on target with your delivery
    I have too
    been wanting to do a podcast of “ask Annie “
    because God has cleared the way
    Inside
    And the Real message comes through and delivers the right answers
    I’m armed with the facts today and the good information
    I just need help in executing and getting started any suggestions?

  10. Thank you so much Gabby!! This is exactly what I am experiencing especially with food. With me being on vacation, I started detoxing and now am more aware of my feelings and thoughts. I love your work and meditations!

  11. so much wisdom in this short video. You hit the nail !! the most complicate thing is to stop there, in that crazy moment.

    It is just a moment,
    thanks so much for your inspiration and for your love.

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