Note: Updated in January 2019 for clarity and additional resources.
I’m excited to share some tips on how to create change with negative feelings. Negative feelings, or the voice of the ego, are all the negative thoughts and repetitive stories that we’ve been telling ourselves since we were children.
We try to control what’s on the outside so we can feel safe.
Witness the fear, don’t react to it
We’ve all experienced different levels of discomfort based on a fear. It’s this discomfort that manifests into a story of us not being good enough. We’re not good enough in our careers, our relationships, or our physical body.
A lot of my clients feel as though they’re stuck in that story or pattern. The pattern is taking our fear from the past and re-enacting it in a way where we need to save ourselves or protect ourselves with negative thought patterns.
The big question is, “How do I get out?” “How do I get out of this pattern?” In the blog and video below, I’m going to teach you how to create space between the fearful experience and the reaction.
I’m also sharing my feeling meditation that will help you break free from your fear and create a miraculous shift in your life.
3 Steps to release your fears
Step 1 Your fear is a feeling
Accept your fear as a feeling rather than as your story. Accept your fear is an experience coming up for you that’s deep-rooted in your body. Then honor it as a feeling. It’s not your story or your reality.
Accept fear as a feeling, not as a reality.
Step 2 Identify your fear
Start to identify where these fearful thoughts play a role in your life. What is the thought saying to you? Make a list of all these negative thoughts. It could be anything from, “I’m not good enough to get a job,” to “men cheat on me.”
Now make a list of how these negative thoughts play out in your life and how it affects you day-to-day. You might say, “My fear of not being good enough in my career holds me back from sending my resume out. It holds me back from making new contacts.”
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Step 3 Identify the discomfort
The next step is to begin to identify where you feel discomfort as a result of this thought. When the negative thought comes in, I want you to check in with your body and identify any area where you’re feeling discomfort or not allowing yourself to feel.
This fear that was ignited at a young age has been buried behind avoidance. And your avoidance tactics come in many forms.
They come in forms of overeating, or drinking, avoiding relationships, or getting into relationships. We create so many distractions so we can avoid feeling the discomfort.
When you identify the feeling, where it lives in your body and start describing it, then you can pay more attention to it. Does it feel tight? Are you clenching your chest? When you get conscious about it, you can begin to nurture the feeling.
Nurture your inner child
Treat the feeling as though it’s a little girl or little boy inside of you that needs to experience the discomfort. If this child felt it wasn’t good enough, you wouldn’t tell him/her to do drugs or avoid a romantic relationship. You would nurture him/her.
Throughout the day, whenever those triggers come up and that fear is ignited, create space between the reaction. The more you create this space between the fear and the reaction by nurturing your inner child, the more change you will create.
I have full faith that if you show up for these tools, you can absolutely create miraculous shifts within your life.
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