The 3 Most Common Self-Help Questions

For the past decade I’ve been writing self-help books and preaching the Gospel of Gabby to lecture audiences throughout the world. No matter what country I’m in, I always seem hear the same 3 questions come up. Because these questions are so popular I decided to bring my answers to you! I’m confident that in some way or another you too have these questions and I hope this blog will support you.

The 3 most common self-help questions

The first and most popular question is, “How do I release my fear?” My response is the same no matter what the person may fear. All our fears are rooted in the stories we choose to believe in. When we get stuck in negative stories (“I don’t have enough,” “I’m unsafe,” “I’m not good enough,” and so on), we give them continuous energy to feed on. By no means am I belittling our difficult, even traumatic, experiences. Instead, I’m offering the suggestion that we learn to release them so they don’t hold us hostage for the rest of our lives.

Begin to heal your fears right now simply by acknowledging them. We tend to put a lot of effort into ignoring our fears. Try looking at them instead. Upon looking at your fear, say, “I choose to see peace instead of this.” This simple choice shifts your perspective and begins a new pattern of releasing the fear rather than gripping it tightly. Stay committed to this statement: “I choose to see peace instead of this.” And trust that you are creating a new story. A shift in perspective may seem subtle, but it is infinitely powerful.

The second most popular question I get is, “How do I attract a romantic partner?” This question is relevant even if you’re attached! Attracting (or keeping) a romantic partner has everything to do with the energy you emit. If you give off a low vibe you are deflecting romance — your energy basically tells other people to back off. But if you choose to dwell in an energy of joy, you become super attractive. The simple tool here is to lean into what is joyful. If you make joy and inspiration a priority in your life you’ll become a magnet for attracting all kinds of relationships. Pay close attention to how your good attitude brings forth more love. If this feels new and weird to you, start with your interactions with friends, colleagues or even strangers. Share kindness and joy and see how it changes your everyday encounters.

The final question that I hear all the time is, “How do I meditate?” These days people are becoming more and more comfortable with the concept of meditation. Folks can easily identify that they are stressed and anxious. The way out of that stress and anxiety is through meditation. The simplest way to begin a meditation practice is through your breath. You have a minute to spare, right? One minute a day spent in stillness can change your life. Commit to one minute a day and use the practice below to silence your mind and calm your energy. Even if you have never meditated before, trust me: You can do this.

The One-Minute Breath
For one minute follow this breathing technique:
Breathe in for 5 seconds
Hold your breath for 5 seconds
Release for 5 seconds
Hold for 5 seconds
Repeat

Practice this breath pattern for one minute every day. If you want to learn more about how to begin a meditation practice, check out my Beginners Guide to Meditation.